READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
