Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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