You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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