There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
