"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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