the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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