She's JV to your varsity
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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