Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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