If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
