i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
