windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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