I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
