Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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