haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
