tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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