She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
