I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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