haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
