I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My liver just had a heart attack.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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