That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
