so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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