She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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