we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize