my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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