I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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