So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
