I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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