i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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