I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
