mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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