I looked at my own cervix.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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