Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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