I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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