Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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