He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize