Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
