your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
