I've blown a few things in my day
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
