You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize