dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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