Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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