Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize