Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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