There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
