Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
