Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
