Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
