I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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