i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
