I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
