girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize