make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
