I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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