The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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