I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
