I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
