I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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