i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
