If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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