i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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