She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize