Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize