Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
